Oh how the mighty have fallen...
Ok, well not that I am mighty but holy frigin macaroni...how I have sadly fallen.

It has been 31 days since I last rode a bike,
and of all things...I get a front flat 12 miles
into Wednesday's ride. Good old Murphy,
that son-of-bitch bastard! : )

Funny what a month off the bicycle does to
your physical condition. Ah yea, not really
though. It basically wipes out all the conditioning
your body had attained and leaves you like an
atrophied piece of crap sucking wind like
a chain-smoking, oxygen bottle toting old man.

Despite only averaging 15.5 mph for a lousy
12 miles, I thought I felt pretty good, that is until Thursday.
My legs were like lead, and my body tired. Are you kidding me!? What the fuck man!?

"I'm worthless and weak" so I dropped and
gave myself 20...and now my arms hurt like
a mother fucker. I went from being in fairly decent shape
to completely out of shape in 4 measly weeks. Oh, it's going to be a long ass winter.

Redo those bar grips! Dress that carbon fiber! Straighten that helmet!
And goddamn it, tuck up those lycra shorts! Attention! Eyes front!
What's that on your chest, mister? It's a pie stain, sir.
A Pie stain?? on your bike shirt?! Just tell me, mister,
what bike club would pledge a man like you?
Ah, xyz wheelmen, sir. Report to the stationary trainer tonight
and every night at 1800 hours. And without that pie stained shirt!
Do you understand? You nauseating pile of blubber...
or in my case - a pile of aerobically challenged skinny ass disgrace of a cyclist! lol.